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"Eighty percent of success is just showing up," someone or other once said.

The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success in the BDSM/leather/fetish scene.

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Don't forget the motto 'safe, sane, and consensual,' and be sure to have a safe word!

So fuck this guy, HOPEFUL, on your own terms—but don't be too quick to dismiss the possibility of an LTR.

Great sex and a good friendship make up a solid foundation.

(Being a decent human being accounts for the other 110 percent*.) Because if you aren't showing up in kink spaces—online or IRL—your fellow kinksters won't be able to find or bind you. "The leather scene is a diverse place with tons of outlets and avenues, depending on how you navigate your life and learn," said Amp from Watts the Safeword (wattsthesafeword.com), a kink and sex-ed website and You Tube channel.

"When I was first getting started, I found a local leather contingent that held monthly bar nights and discussion groups that taught classes for kinksters at any level.

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