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Think about it: if he doesn’t text right away, he’s elusive, he’s kind of snarky or an outright jerk, we find ourselves more attracted to him.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t attracted to the nerdy Ernest Bakers/Steve Urkels of the world; Mr.

Once I stripped away the fantasy, I realized he was a scared little boy, acting out by withholding affection and commitment and I was a scared little girl accepting his bad behavior because I didn’t think I deserved better. The awkward, Black Boy Nerd is a rare creature; he isn’t the epitome of masculinity, especially the hyper-masculine Thug of the 90s. But ultimately I think he’s more willing to take a chance on something meaningful instead of the Thug/Bad Boy type who manages to elude commitment.

The more I embraced being a Black Girl Nerd, the more I discovered I wanted a Black Boy Nerd of my own.

As I got older, my addiction to the Thug matured; to me, he was a challenge—someone I thought I could change and help recognize his potential.

I wanted to inspire, motivate and love this man; even as he withheld his emotions, I yearned for more.

Gawker recently published an article by Ernest Baker titled, “The Reality of Dating White Women When You’re Black.” In the piece Baker explains, at length, his reasons for only dating White women which boils down to the fact that he was an awkward, Black Boy Nerd and White girls were the only ones who showed him romantic interest.

I rethought my archaic ideals surrounding masculinity, which helped me to embrace the type of guy that worked me, not against me.Here, our quirks and peccadillos are appreciated, not judged.As a BGN who was definitely addicted to the Thug/Bad Boy, it’s refreshing to experience another side of dating—one with sweet available guys who are interested in getting to know me instead of wasting my time.The issue of the “Nice Guy” is one that is close to my cold, mercenary heart if only because I’ve spent so much time in that mindset and every “I’ve been friendzoned” rant brings familiar echoes of ones that I wrote myself and broadcast to the uncaring world wide web – ones that fortunately have been lost to the universe, never to be seen againprinted the t-shirt (another college experiment that has been destroyed) I feel the need to educate my Nice Guy brethren as to just what the big fucking problem is with the Nice Guy world view and just Let’s start with the most obvious issue here: the supposed “Nice Guy” is a liar from start to finish.A Nice Guy traditionally finds himself in the Friend Zone in one of two ways: either he asks someone out and gets the Let’s Just Be Friends speech or else he never asks her out in the first place.

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